American Men Who Have Never Married: Where Are They Now?
Probably enjoying a beer at a beach in Phuket Island. Or exploring the Maya ruins in Mexico. Or meeting lovely women in the Philippines.
What exactly are they doing?
Well, they’re enjoying their lives. They’re happily unmarried men who chose to travel the world and meet people from different walks of life.
But are they closing themselves off to marriage entirely?
Let’s find out.
In a 2023 survey conducted by Pew Research Center, nearly half of the respondents answered that marriage and having kids are not too important or not important at all. However, men place somewhat more importance on marriage and having kids compared to women.
While that is a small fraction to consider in terms of men’s views on marriage, we are looking at a completely different dynamic on the “Modern American Family.”
From 1890 to 2010, the median age for getting married was in the early to mid 20s — for both men and women. But in 2022, the median age for marriage was 28.6 years old for women and 30.5 years old for men.
We can see both genders delaying their decision to get married and settle down. While there are various reasons to consider, let’s look into why men delay marriage or choose not to get married at all.
An article from the Institute for Family Studies enumerates three reasons why men resist marriage:
1.) They associate marriage with increased responsibilities and a greater possibility of financial loss.
2.) They begin to see themselves as fathers, providers, and protectors when they transition into marriage.
3.) The motives to get married or to avoid marriage may be different for those at lower incomes.
What exactly influenced these men to have such discouraging thoughts about marriage?
What Data on Marriages in the US Say
A lot of men claim that women have gotten smart about finances — that they marry men for the wrong reasons.
Imagine investing all of your money and savings into a house and building a life with your so-called significant other, only to end up getting divorced by them and having to battle with who gets what. A lot of the time, the women who file for divorce don’t even spend a single dime on the things they’re trying to take away from their now ex-husband.
While the US divorce rate has decreased from 3.6 per 1,000 people in 2010 to 2.4 per 1,000 people in 2022, the marriage rate in the US has dropped as well since the 1990s, although with a slight increase in 2021.
Also, nearly 69% of divorces are initiated by women, often due to unmet needs and infidelity.
On the other hand, there has been a steady rise in intermarriages in the US since 1967. And the approval rating has gone from around 25% in the 1970s to a record high of 94% in 2021.
Lastly, a study by Pew Research Center states that in 2014, 37% of Americans said having more people of different races marrying each other was good for society, up from 24% four years prior.
Now what does this say about American men and their views on marriage?
For Men Who Want to Marry, They Travel
I enjoyed reading through this Reddit thread where people shared their experiences of finding love while traveling.
A lot of what is driving American men to travel overseas is to find love, if not better partners. This is the reality of dating in the US. Their reasons for finding foreign partners will vary, but this is what the data is telling us:
Many American men are looking for foreign spouses.
While they always have the option of meeting foreign women online, traveling just makes the experience more exciting. I recommend checking out the Reddit thread I mentioned earlier to have a better understanding of this.
But is this endeavor ideal? What are the risks involved? Is there any guarantee that they will find what they’re looking for abroad?
Surely these men have asked themselves these questions, and surely they have the means to seek the answers on their own.
Now, for the most important question.
Is Marriage the Answer?
There is an infinite amount of data detailing the benefits and advantages of marriage. And anyone would be a fool to discredit the disadvantages of marriage, because in reality, there are.
But my honest answer is that with the right person, marriage might make sense. But because it requires so much thought and consideration, it may not be the answer for everyone.
That being said, instead of casting away American men for pursuing love overseas, why don’t we look to it as an example of the growing trend of international romance?
In my opinion, these men are headed in the right direction. They’re not just taking opportunities, they’re making opportunities by traveling the world to meet their wives.
References:
- https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/09/14/what-makes-for-a-fulfilling-life/
- https://www.infoplease.com/us/family-statistics/median-age-first-marriage-1890-2010
- https://www.theknot.com/content/average-age-of-marriage#:~:text=What%20is%20the%20most%20common,accounted%20for%20in%20this%20survey.
- https://ifstudies.org/blog/why-men-resist-marriage-even-though-they-benefit-the-most-from-it/
- https://divorce.com/blog/divorce-statistics/#:~:text=The%20U.S.%20divorce%20rate%20has%20decreased%20from%203.6%20per%201%2C000%20people%20in%202010%20to%202.4%20per%201%2C000%20in%202022.
- https://www.statista.com/statistics/195951/marriage-rate-in-the-united-states-since-1990/#:~:text=In%202021%2C%20the%20marriage%20rate%20in%20the,rate%20was%209.8%20marriages%20per%201%2C000%20people.
- https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2017/05/18/intermarriage-in-the-u-s-50-years-after-loving-v-virginia/
- https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2015/06/12/interracial-marriage-who-is-marrying-out/#:~:text=In%202014%2C%2037%25%20of%20Americans%20said%20having%20more%20people%20of%20different%20races%20marrying%20each%20other%20was%20a%20good%20thing%20for%20society%2C%20up%20from%2024%25%20four%20years%20earlier.
- https://www.reddit.com/r/solotravel/comments/13vsxa1/finding_love_while_traveling/
