ONLINE DATING
“What am I doing wrong on online dating if I get matches but few dates?”
You’re not doing anything wrong. It’s just how most of these online dating sites and apps work.
- It’s normal to have a disparity in the ratio of people you get matched with to actual dates you get from online dating sites. You might end up getting hundreds of matches, but only a few of those matches will turn into interesting conversations. Likewise, only a few of those conversations turn into actual dates.
However, that should not be a cause for alarm. It’s simply the nature of online dating, especially if you’re using free online dating sites.
In fact, a lot of dating site users have had the same experience.
Here’s a viral post on Reddit posted by u/keongmanja, where he documented his 28 days on Tinder. Out of 53 matches, he only managed to get 4 dates.
The breakdown of those matches is as follows:
Out of the 53 matches…
- 12 matches ghosted him — 8 replied at least once, 4 did not reply at all, and 3 unmatched.
- 38 matches declined to date — 19 replied with “I don’t know when I’ll be free,” 4 replied with “too far from you,” 4 replied with “I’m out of the city,” and 2 replied with “too scared to meet up.”
- 9 matches agreed to meet up for a date — 3 stood him up, 2 canceled, and only 4 showed up.
Here’s another viral Reddit post posted by u/meatenigma that followed the same concept, but this time with the famous dating app OkCupid.
Throughout his 500 days of using the dating app, he sent out a total of 228 first messages to all his matches.
What happened to those matches are as follows:
- 184 matches did not respond to him at all.
- 44 matches responded — 26 of them ghosted him, 4 petered out, 3 ended their conversation, and 6 agreed to go out on a date. Out of the 6 matches that agreed to meet on a date, 1 stood him up, 1 canceled, and only 4 showed up.
These stories tell us that, while mainstream online dating sites and apps are convenient ways of meeting people to date, they don’t exactly give you quality matches who are looking for the same thing as you.
In other words, the chances of finding a serious romantic partner on these sites are low. It could be due to a variety of reasons, such as the site’s imperfect matching algorithms or the fact that the site is filled with disingenuous people.
To reiterate, it’s really not your fault. Mainstream dating sites are simply not the best places to find genuine romantic connections.
I suggest you opt for dating sites with professional matchmaking services, where you’ll have better luck finding a romantic partner.
But if you want to stick to using mainstream dating sites, here’s my word of advice:
Don’t let the lack of dates discourage you from continuing. Don’t get hung up on matches that lead to nowhere. Instead, keep moving forward and, eventually, you’ll find someone worth knowing and dating.
