International Dating & Matchmaking
The Truth About Mail Order Brides
No. International marriage agencies do not traffic women.
When hearing the word “mail order bride,” most would never think of a 25-year-old career woman. Instead, they conjure an image of a conniving foreign woman who does not speak a word of English and has been shipped to the country like property via mail service.
As someone who has interviewed these ladies, let me tell you that they are not at all what you envisioned. The majority of them are not pitiful, poor, or ignorant. In fact, many of them are accomplished women with impressive backgrounds.
In China, for example, the women who sign themselves for our international marriage agency either have a Ph.D., own successful businesses, or are working in high-level positions. Try to browse through some of their profiles and you’ll find most of them, at minimum, have College degrees.
If these women are so impressive, why are they still single?
In the U.S., women who prioritize their careers during their younger years are called “empowered” and are praised for this life choice.
This is not the case in China. In fact, educated and unmarried Chinese women aged 27 and above are called Sheng Nu — in English, the word directly translates to “leftover women.”
Sheng Nu are single women seen by society as lonely, desperate, and overqualified. As a consequence, local men are put off (or should I say intimidated) and do not want to marry them.
As a solution, many of these women look for partners overseas, with men who are not afraid of their intellect and achievements. A popular choice for them are Western men.
Now, let’s talk about Ukrainian women.
We recently interviewed a lady lawyer from Ukraine. Yes, a lawyer. She’s smart, beautiful, and has a great personality. Yet, despite all her good qualities, she still signed herself up on our website. Why?
There are a lot of factors: cultural, social, political, and even economic — something I would like to address in a separate blog due to its complexity.
Right now, Ukraine is at war. Currently, that is one of the top reasons why people (both men and women) are fleeing and seeking refuge elsewhere.
But even before the war broke, many Ukrainian women have explored their dating options beyond the local dating scene. Why foreign men, though?
One reason that comes to mind is Ukraine’s traditional values and patriarchal views — which condone discrimination and violence against women. Hence why many Ukrainian women prefer men from progressive countries like the U.S., Canada, and even Australia, where men have a more liberal view.
The same goes for Latin women.
In Latin America, machismo culture and domestic violence against women exist, and it is the norm. I wrote a separate blog covering this topic, you can read it here: Why Latinas Are Marrying White Men.
It may seem like these women want to escape their country, and that may be true to some extent. But the intent to find a man who will love and cherish them is there. Isn’t that what most people want — to love and be loved?
Many of these women just want a good husband who can treat them right. And they are hopeful they can find that man overseas.
In short, the point I am trying to relay in this article is:
Each of us is entitled to our choices and to explore our options.
And just because some people choose the easier route (i.e., finding a partner overseas), it doesn’t mean that they are bad people worthy of being criticized. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be happy. It’s the people who shame, bash, or ridicule others’ choices who are the problem.
What are your thoughts about mail order brides? Let me know in the comments.
